


Just a Little Complicated

by Yoongi_Bear



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood, Bloody Flowers, College AU, Demisexual Keith (Voltron), Friends to Lovers wow, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Hanahaki Disease, Hispanic Krolia, Keith calls Shiro hyeong, Keith can speak Korean, Keith can't text very well, Keith is less serious, Keith is mixed, Korean Keith (Voltron), Kosmo is a dog/wolf hybrid (those exist), Krolia kNOWS, Lance and Matt co-captain a swim team apparently, Light Drinking, M/M, Matt is the jerk but supportive friend, Minor Angst, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Vomiting Flowers, did I mention PINING SHIRO, fluff (ish), hanahaki, oof, pining shiro, there is funny bits in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoongi_Bear/pseuds/Yoongi_Bear
Summary: Matt put down his phone and continued ranting, this time about just everything in general, and Shiro rolled his eyes and pulled a Pepsi out of his backpack. He'd need a lot of caffeine to listen to this. As he chugged it, he could see a head of silky black hair out of the corner of his eye, and Shiro promptly choked on his soda. Matt turned to stare at him, his amber eyes blinking rapidly. "Shiro? What the hell-?"Then Matt saw Keith and snorted. "Oooh, gayness strikes again. Don't suffocate.""Shut up," Shiro shot back between coughs.Once Shiro could speak (he could still feel something lodged in his throat, but he could breathe) he looked up to see Matt barely suppressing laughter and a very concerned looking Keith staring at him.Keith had his dark, silky hair pulled back into a higher ponytail than usual, and his bangs were just barely neat enough for Keith to see. His dusky eyes were wide with confusion, and his lean hands were shoved into his skinny jean pockets. Did Shiro say skinny jeans? He meant skin tight black jeans paired with ankle-high combat boots and a NASA tee shirt. It was so casual, but Keith rocked the look, and Shiro could feel his face burning.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For people looking for "I'm sobbing" angst, this isn't the fic for you. I'm going to try and make this both serious and funny at the same time. Think of Scrubs, where it kicks you in the butt while you're cackling. 
> 
> Yeah. That. 
> 
> By the way, I made a slightly racist joke, and I do apologize if I offend anyone!!!!!!!!!!

Shiro tapped his metal fingers against the hole-pocked park table, tuning out Matt's angered ranting. From the past ten minutes of aggressive talking from the strawberry blond, Shiro could make out that a group of naïve freshmen on the swim team Matt captained decided to try shoving stink bombs into the corners of the showers. According to Matt, they should be expelled from the team, but Lance (the vice captain) just laughed and waved it off. Shiro found that he suddenly could care less about Matt's story about ten minutes into the half hour rant, and now the larger-built Japanese man was staring at a tree, watching the shadows shift in the cool breeze. 

"Hey, are you even listening?" Matt said suddenly, elbowing Shiro in the side. 

"Nope," he replied bluntly. 

"Jerk," Matt mumbled, pulling out his iPhone 7 and replying to a tweet. Shiro shook his head at this normal occurrence and resumed staring and humming. At the moment he had the song "Burn the House Down" by AJR stuck in his head, and it had been like that for the past 4 days. It was a good song, so he had no shame in blaring it at 2 AM. 

Matt put down his phone and continued ranting, this time about just everything in general, and Shiro rolled his eyes and pulled a Pepsi out of his backpack. He'd need a lot of caffeine to listen to this. As he chugged it, he could see a head of silky black hair out of the corner of his eye, and Shiro promptly choked on his soda. Matt turned to stare at him, his amber eyes blinking rapidly. "Shiro? What the hell-?" 

Then Matt saw Keith and snorted. "Oooh, gayness strikes again. Don't suffocate." 

"Shut up," Shiro shot back between coughs. 

Once Shiro could speak (he could still feel something lodged in his throat, but he could breathe) he looked up to see Matt barely suppressing laughter and a very concerned looking Keith staring at him. 

Keith had his dark, silky hair pulled back into a higher ponytail than usual, and his bangs were just barely neat enough for Keith to see. His dusky eyes were wide with confusion, and his lean hands were shoved into his skinny jean pockets. Did Shiro say skinny jeans? He meant skin tight black jeans paired with ankle-high combat boots and a NASA tee shirt. It was so casual, but Keith rocked the look, and Shiro could feel his face burning. 

Matt noticed Shiro's speechlessness and started cackling. "Oh, my God, this is great." 

Shiro kicked him under the table, meriting a swear from Matt. He smiled, satisfied. "Uh, hey, Keith, what's up?"

"Nothing, just taking a walk before class. What about you two?" Keith shrugged nonchalantly, but his face still read "what the hell just happened". 

"Oh, Shiro here is just- Ow, stop!" 

Shiro had stepped on Matt's foot underneath the table, mostly to shut him the hell up. He kept a smile on his face, however. "Just talking between classes. Right, Matt?!"

"Uh huh, whatever you say. Can you stop kicking me please?" 

"Yeah. " 

Matt mumbled his thanks and retreated to his Twitter to save his leg from a large bruise, and Shiro returned his gaze to an extremely confused Keith. Keith blinked slowly for a moment, before speaking again. "I should probably head out and leave you guys to your...abusive conversation. James needs me to help with a paper he's writing for physics, which means I'll be writing it for him." Keith's face twisted into amused grief. Keith and James had a very tentative friendship comprised mostly of icy stares and snide comments. "See ya." 

"Good luck with that, Keith. Bye," Shiro waved as Keith left, staring for a few moments longer than he should before clearing his throat unsuccessfully. Whatever the weird sensation was, it wasn't going away, and he was fairly sure it got worse when Keith left. 

"Did you enjoy the view?" 

Shiro choked on his own spit, his face flushing a very, very deep red. "Matthew Holt! I an going to block you from my life if you don't stop it."

"I'm just teasing you for your own good. You know Keith is straight, so I'm just trying to keep you from digging yourself into a pit you can't crawl out of." 

"We don't know if he's straight, he never talks about his sexuality. " Shiro knew what Matt was saying was true, however much he tried to argue. Keith never made any mention of a girlfriend or boyfriend, but he was also very exclusive with his feelings. As often as Shiro tried to block the thoughts out, he couldn't stop the sinking feeling and tightness in his chest whenever he considered a straight Keith. He never bothered to act on his feelings, and he never would unless he had a 'straight or no' answer from Keith (but asking that was kinda rude). 

"That's true, " Matt replied, shrugging. "But I'm just being honest here. I don't want to see you torn up and heartbroken, like with Adam." 

"Don't mention Adam. That jerk is long gone, I don't wanna even think about him." 

"Just saying, Shiro. " 

Adam Westlake was Shiro's ex from freshman year of college. Adam and Shiro had been the poster couple for almost the whole year, but as all good things must come to an end, that relationship died in a fiery hell storm when Shiro took classes more seriously than their relationship. The fight had been brutal, and Shiro refused to even leave his bed for two days (Matt and Keith brought him food both of those days). Shiro hated Adam now and wanted to punch something at even the mention of his ex. 

Matt's phone vibrated with a text, and he groaned. "Pidge and Lance got into trouble and are at the Dean's office. I need to go rescue them, so I gotta go." 

Shiro waved a hand in a "go ahead" gesture and forced a smile. "It's not like I have anywhere to go for another half hour. Have fun with that." 

Matt left without another word, leaving Shiro to mull over their conversation. He made a mental list of all Matt's main points and huffed. Was Keith straight? Maybe. Probably. Did Shiro really have a chance? No, he really didn't, but he didn't want to let go of his hope. The fluttery feeling in his chest when Keith smiled had to mean something right? Right? 

Shiro had to admit Matt had a point, however, and he hung his head dejectedly. He really didn't want a repeat of Adam, and with finals coming up in less than a month, he really needed to focus on studying. It was also kinda hard to study when the person you usually study with is kinda hot and gives you shivers when they smile. 

Suddenly, Shiro started coughing, hacking really, and it hurt. Not badly, but in an "I really can't breathe" way. He coughed for a solid minute into his hand, until a small clump of a wet something came up into his hand. The pressure in his chest was relieved, thank God, but now he was beyond puzzled by the blue and white clump of...petals? No way. No way he'd just hacked up a pile of _flowers_. "Todomonai," he whispered in rushed Japanese. "Jigoku de masaka." 

Shiro's heart rate skyrocketed when he realized what the petals were from. His grandmother had told him stories about her sister, who passed away after flowers bloomed in her lungs, and of the mysterious lover who never returned the affections. His grandmother had called it "Hanahaki". Afterwards, due to a thirteen-year-old Shiro's curious tendencies, he'd researched it and discovered the flower disease was real, and that the medical cause was unknown, but that most claimed it was due to unrequited loves. 

Shiro groaned and stood, depositing the empty Pepsi bottle and the god forsaken petals into the nearby trashcan. He forced himself not to think out of self preservation, mostly because he knew if he did think, his thoughts would consist of the Hanahaki and Keith alone. He instead hiked his galaxy patterned backpack onto his shoulder and walked to his dorm, pulling out his phone and shooting Keith a text. 

To: Keefy Keef  
Looks like I'll be a little late to studying. Gotta schedule a doctors appointment.

Keith's reply was near instant, and Shiro raised his eyebrows. Apparently the "studying" wasn't happening, so Shiro now knew that Keith left to escape an awkward conversation. Very typical. 

From: Keefy Keef  
y tho. come up to my dorm and talk to me, im bored

From: Keefy Keef  
james sux and flaked out 

Shiro and Keith's dorms were on the same floor, so Shiro made the plan to take some cough meds and drop off his backpack. He was going to tell Keith about his latest development, but not about who the Hanahaki was for exactly. Keith was a secretive person as well, he would understand. Hopefully. Probably. Maybe? Shiro hoped he would. He was not in the mood to explain that he'd had a thing for Keith for the last year and now he was hacking up flowers because of it. That would be a very, very awkward conversation. 

To: Keefy Keef  
You seriously need to work on your texting grammar. It's like talking to an 11 year old girl. 

From: Keefy Keef  
no, u grammar nazi 

He purposefully didn't reply and finished the twenty minute walk from the courtyard to the dorms, waited the five minutes for the elevator to reach the third floor (yes, it was that slow) and made it to his small dorm. The dorms were fairly tiny, with a small kitchenette and bathroom connected to the bedroom. Shiro made good use of the space with his loft bed, his computer desk underneath cluttered with piles of Aerospace Engineering textbooks and unfinished papers. He also had two beanbag chairs in front of a Smart TV hanging on the wall opposite his bed, where he usually watched BBC documentaries and Supernatural. 

Yes, he watched BBC documentaries for entertainment. 

Shiro tossed his backpack onto the nearest beanbag and went to scavenge the medicine cabinet for some Benadryl. He had no clue if it helped with Hanahaki, but it couldn't hurt to try. He downed the small white pill with a cupful of water, finger combed his snowy white hair to make it look half decent, the carried on his way four rooms down the hall to Keith's dorm. 

Keith opened the door before Shiro knocked, like he'd been watching through the peephole, and smacked his metal arm. "Jerk, don't leave me unread. " 

"You deserved it, calling me a grammar Nazi. I'll have you know, I'm a grammar Nip if you wanna go there." Shiro smirked, and Keith snorted. 

"That's racist, Shiro, now get in here before I smack you again. " 

"To be honest, I figured you'd have slapped me for my comment," Shiro replied, flopping down onto Keith's loveseat couch. 

"Patience is a virtue, sir," Keith shot back, handing Shiro a Rum 'n Coke and sitting down besides him. Then Keith punched him in the shoulder. "That's your punishment for being racist against yourself." 

"How do you even have rum? You're nineteen," Shiro raised his eyebrows but took a long sip of the drink out of the red Solo cup. Keith, ever the El Cheapo. 

"Parties, " he replied bluntly, setting down his already empty cup on the side table. "You would not believe how easy it is to steal stuff from Lance's parties." 

"Fair." Shiro swirled his drink around, his stomach twisting in anxiety. He knew what Keith's next question would be, and he had no idea how he'd answer. 'Oh, you know, just hacked up flowers because I'm in love with you but you don't love me back. Totally chill. ' Yeah, no. Not a good idea. 

"So, you got a doctor's appointment? What is it a prostate exam?" 

Shiro snorted, while internal him was screaming and about ready to shut down. His cheeks burned involuntarily. "No, I think that'd be better though. " 

"Nothing is worse that a prostate exam, according to Uncle Kolivan," Keith replied in disbelief, taking the crimson hair tie out of his hair, letting the silky waves fall like an India ink waterfall. Shiro fought down the urge to brush the soft locks away from Keith's cheeks and neck, and his face burned even further. At least he had an ounce of self control. Keith turned his head and his violet eyes met Shiro's honeyed brown ones, causing a short hacking fit that only produced a single petal, which Shiro shoved in his jeans pocket. 

"Eh, I wouldn't know. Anyways, I coughed up a wad of uh...how to phrase this, flower petals?" 

"Oh damn," Keith's eyes widened, but thankfully his next question wasn't 'who is it'. "That sucks. I've heard the pills for that taste like butt. " 

"Wow, thank you for the enlightening insight." 

Keith cackled like a child for a moment, before he seemed to sober up. "So, Hanahaki? I'm gonna spare you the awkward of the who question. When did it start?" 

Shiro sighed, running his hand through his short hair and stuffing the other metal one into his jacket pocket. "Today, about ten minutes before you asked me to come over. It's just a little unreturned love, I'll live." 

Keith laughed, grabbing Shiro's cup and dumping half of it into his own. He then handed Shiro his cup and raised his own. "I'll drink to that!" 

One of Shiro's favorite things about Keith was how when things got too real, he could turn the mood around like a U- turn. Shiro smiled and watched in awe as Keith downed the entire cup and slammed it on the table again, with a loud thud. He took a sip of his own, savoring the bubbles of carbonation and the cola taste. 

"Do you want more?" 

"No, I'm great, thanks. Don't get drunk." 

"Obvi. " Keith cringed. "That sounded so gay, I'm sorry." 

They spent the rest of the next three hours talking and laughing, and by the time Shiro decided to leave he was in an excellent mood. Tomorrow would be the day for moping about his life, but today he enjoyed Keith's laughter like a fine wine. Savoring it slow and letting the taste sink in, or in this case, listening to the soft chuckles and the snorting, hiccuping hysterical laughter. Dorky and overall just like Keith. 

"Bye, Shiro. See you in class tomorrow! Enjoy your pills," Keith said at the door, meriting a snort from Shiro. 

"See ya, Keith," He replied and trudged sleepily to his dorm and changed slowly into a pair of soft black sweatpants and a white tee shirt. It was only when he collapsed onto his bed and turned off the lights when the weight of the day hit. He was staring at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, breathing shakily and fighting the waves of coughing when he realized how nonchalantly Keith acted about the Hanahaki. 

Shiro coughed five more blue petals into his hand and dropped them off the bed, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. Was it just the alcohol causing his unimpressed reaction? 

Or had Keith already known?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance throws a small party with the intention of getting our oblivious knife mullet and flower hacking gaysian together. 
> 
> Oh. God.

Shiro didn't have a major coughing fit for a week after his uneventful doctor's appointment. The doctor didn't tell him anything he didn't already know, handed him a slip for a prescription of pills, and told him to come back in a month for a progress check. The pills were only suppressants, giving Shiro an extra four months tops. So, basically, a fat load of zero help. 

Fairly typical of doctors. 

Shiro was in the car driving back to Texas A&M University from Waco, where he was visiting his parents for the weekend. His mother took the Hanahaki news fairly well, saying she'd pray for him, but his father choked on his beer and spluttered out a string of swears. Other than that, it was fairly uneventful weekend. At the moment, he was sitting in rush hour traffic, messily eating a Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell. His mother would say it was a miracle that he was sitting in stop and go traffic when he started coughing between swallows. 

Shiro hacked for a solid five minutes (a new record), producing a large wad of forget me not petals and a lone bud. Bye the time Shiro was done, tears pricked at the corners of his eyes simply from the force of the coughing. There weren't any crimson stains, which was a relief, and he shoved them in the small clear bag in the side of his door. God, being in love sucked butt. He didn't even know what brought on the cough. He'd taken his pills, and he wasn't thinking about a certain angry mixed Korean boy. In the research Shiro had done on the folklore of Hanahaki, some believed that random bursts of petals was your loved one thinking of you, but Shiro wasn't sure. How would the flowers know what Keith was thinking? 

At the exact moment that Shiro took another bite of the messy orange taco garbage, his phone rang with a phone call. He fumbled to hit the button on the console to accept the call through Bluetooth while driving. 

"ShiroShiroShiroShiro," Lance's voice rang through the speakers, Hunk and Pidge's yelling also filtering through. From Pidge's cry of "You did not just blue shell me!" The three roommates were playing Mario Kart. 

"Hi, Lance," Shiro mumbled around the food in his mouth. "What do you want?" 

"Are you in the car? Great. You should totally come over and play video games with us. " 

"Yeah, don't be lame!" Pidge shouted too, while Hunk shouted something unintelligible. Shiro had no idea how the three of them didn't have a bunch of noise complaints from their neighbors. Three college sophomores living in a ranch home in a residential neighborhood? Never ends well. Never. 

Shiro weighed the choices. He had to take his night pill soon and unpack, but the unpacking could wait. His homework was all completed, and Lance wouldn't judge about the Hanahaki pill. Lance had accidentally found out about the Hanahaki when he heard Shiro coughing in the hallway on the way to the bathroom and left a petal on the floor by mistake. Lance also knew about Shiro's thing for Keith, so he connected the dots fairly quickly. Lance was good at that. "I guess. I'm stuck in traffic outside of Bryan, but I should be there in maybe an hour?" 

"Sweet! See ya there, gay buddy!" Lance hung up right after that, and Shiro groaned at the nickname. Why did he tell Lance anything?! 

\-----------------

An hour and ten minutes later, Shiro arrived at the Sophomore Trio's home. The yard was oddly well manicured because of Allura, Lance's sweet British girlfriend, insisted on having a nice home and the yard was part of that. Shiro was impressed. 

The door was open even before Shiro was fully out of his Prius, Lance waving a bottle of Corona around like a flag. "Gay buddy!" 

Shiro rolled his brown eyes. "Hey, Lance. How many times have I asked you not to call me that? " 

"Several. Now, inside, hurry!" Lance ushered Shiro in, practically shoving him more like, and then slammed the door shut and locked it. That caused Shiro to turn and raise his eyebrows. Lance lived in a really nice neighborhood with a low crime rate, so the fact that he locked the door meant he was up to something, and when Lance was up to something, nothing good would come from it. The Cuban was beaming when Shiro turned to face him, his eyes near glittering with mischief. That made Shiro question the fact that he was even at this house in the first place. 

"Lance, darling, I need you to help me kill a spider!" Allura's panicked voice rang from the kitchen, and Lance sighed. 

"I'm coming babe!" Then Lance left without another word to go help his arachnophobic lover. So, now Shiro had to figure out what Lance was playing at. 

The first two faces he saw were Pidge and Hunk. Hunk was currently eating a small plate of taquitos and dipping them in sour cream, while Pidge was attempting to steal them from Hunk. Hunk swatted at her hand every time, glaring at her. "No. My food, Pidge." 

She grumbled, poking her finger in Hunk's sour cream and eating it off her finger, Hunk making an indignant squawk. 

"What the hell did I just walk into," Shiro said as he sat down on the floor by the blue couch. Pidge barked out a laugh. 

"Welcome to Mario Kart Hell, Takashi Shirogane. Welcome. Tell Hunk he needs to give me his taquitos." 

"You are not getting a taquito, you gremlin," Hunk said with an irritated groan. Shiro chuckled. 

"Clearly I have walked into hell by mistake," Shiro said, standing to go grab a can of Coke from the fridge. Allura was still panicking about the spider, Lance failing at calming her down ("It was just a spider, it's not like it was poison"). Shiro snorted internally and quietly slipped out before he could get dragged into helping. When he arrived back in the living room, the seat Shiro planned to sit in was occupied. 

By a raven haired teen in a black leather riding jacket and band bracelets. 

Shiro coughed really, really loudly, making Keith jump. What was Keith doing here?! Was that what Lance was planning? Playing matchmaker with a Hanahaki infected man and his not-lover was really not the greatest idea, and yet seemed so Lance-ish at the same time. He made a mental note to block Lance on Instagram for a week after this party. When Shiro stopped coughing, he met Keith's gaze and attempted to sit down as casually as possible on the floor. Keith had his eyebrow raised, and Shiro yet again had to admit that he'd checked out Keith again. The jeans he was wearing were yet again, tight and black, and Shiro flushed a pale pink and cursed himself. He probably looked like a creep. 

"Real graceful," Keith said after an awkward moment of silence. "So elegant, I would give you a ten out of ten." 

Leave it to Keith to make Shiro laugh at him embarrassing himself. Pidge chuckled and tossed Shiro the Wii U gamepad, designating Shiro as the controller of the Wii as usual. 

A round of Rainbow Road later, Shiro could feel Keith's gaze drift to him. Shiro glanced over at Keith as inconspicuously as possible, and Keith averted his eyes to the floor. For a moment, Shiro thought he saw a hint of a blush along Keith's lightly freckled cheeks, but when he looked back again it was gone. Great. He was hallucinating that Keith was into him. That totally wouldn't help the Hanahaki issue any. 

Music started playing from Lance's side of the room, where Allura was seated on his lap and playing Mario Kart. Shiro identified it as "One Kiss" by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa, and he knew exactly why Lance was playing it. Shiro must've blushed to the roots of his hair, and he could see Keith's face redden as well. Shiro's heart fluttered momentarily, entertaining a brief fantasy of seeing that blush in private in his head. Exactly what Lance wanted, Shiro was sure. 

Keith launched a sour cream covered taquito at Lance and hitting him in the face, and then he stormed out of the house. Lance blinked for a moment before glancing at Shiro as if to say, "Gonna go get him?" 

"Well, I'm gonna go uh, make sure he isn't leaving," Shiro said, shoving his hands in his pants pockets and scrambling outside. Keith was already getting onto his red Harley, and he only stopped when he noticed Shiro. 

"Hey, what happened there?" Shiro asked tentatively, knowing full well Keith would glare at him and mumble something angry. 

"Lance being an idiot happened. Christ, he knows how I feel about him pushing romance on people. It's stupid," Keith spat, slamming his helmet onto the leather seat with a thump. He seemed to be doing a lot of slamming things lately. Shiro noticed how Keith's gloved thumb was hovering over the ignition, like he was going to leave at a moment's notice. Keith was a skittish bird, prepared to take flight and never return. He let his shoulders slump. "Lance damn well knows I wouldn't be able to get a date anyways. He just needs to stop." 

"Never- what?" Shiro's honeyed brown eyes widened. Keith thought he'd never get a date?! Keith was probably the hottest student at A&M, and he thought he couldn't get a date. He could have his pick of girls and boys, and any of them would say yes to the rebellious teen. Shiro would say yes in a heartbeat, and with that thought he thanked God that it was dark so Keith couldn't see his blush. "Keith, you could easily get a date. Even I'd probably say yes if you'd asked me." 

Was that a blush Shiro saw, or a trick of the light? Was Keith fidgeting and silent, or had Shiro gone insane? Maybe he didn't have enough oxygen and the flowers were stealing it. Wait, that didn't make sense, flowers give out oxygen, not take it. 

"Really?"

"Yeah." 

Shiro felt something warm blossom in his chest, watching Keith's warring expressions. He almost looked...confused, like he didn't know what 'I'd go out with you' meant. Keith's normally expressive eyes were unreadable, but his body language almost looked hesitant, and his cheeks were a pale pink. Keith's amethyst eyes met Shiro's, and Shiro felt something in his chest flip. The sunset was reflected in Keith's eyes, making them shine like precious gems. He suddenly felt the urge to wrap Keith in his arms and press his lips to Keith's, but the moment ended when Keith's eyes hardened and he furrowed his eyebrows. 

"No. No, you wouldn't." He whispered. 

"What?" Shiro asked in confusion, his head spinning. What the hell did that mean? Shiro knew himself, and he knew he'd go out with Keith in a heartbeat. How did Keith not see that?

"You wouldn't date me. You've said it yourself, we're like brothers. Don't look at me with that look in your eye. You've been hacking up flowers, I don't want to hear your bullshit selflessness. Don't you ever, ever say shit like that to make me feel better." Keith snapped, his body language becoming closed off, slamming the briefly open door in an astonished Shiro's face. "It doesn't. Don't you ever act like that. I don't take bullshit. I don't want your goddamn charity." 

And with that, the Harley started and Keith left without another word, leaving Shiro with his pounding heart and tight throat. He watched as Keith sped away, swallowing repeatedly to fight down the rising flood of tears threatening to burst. He'd been so open with Keith, he'd thought they'd had something, some spark, and then it all died. Keith didn't believe that Shiro even had feelings for him at all, even though it was so blatantly obvious. Keith still just thought he viewed him as a friend. 

Shiro had to face it. He had virtually no chance. 

He stood there, in Lance's yard, watching forget me not petals drift into the street, the blue darkened by tear stains. It was only after his third burst of coughing that he decided to go home, and once he arrived, Shiro coughed up more flowers of his unrequited love on his dorm floor. 

The blue and red contrasted beautifully with the white carpet. 

\----------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I mixed it up and tossed in some angst. BET Y'ALL WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT. 
> 
> I chose A&M because it's a university by me, and I know the cities nearby well, so yeah.
> 
> Keith is oblivious AF.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith grumbles to his mother, and he slowly comes to a profound realization.

Keith wanted to crawl under the couch and die. He'd just basically told his best friend to screw off and sped away on his motorcycle to his mother's house. He sucked as a friend, honestly, and he had no shame in saying it. It was true, after all. Who blows off a friend like that in such a rude way? The look in Shiro's eyes, it was like Keith watched his heart shatter into twenty different pieces. And god, did he feel bad about it. Shiro was already going through a rough patch, and he sure as hell didn't help it. 

Keith groaned and buried his face into one of his mother's throw pillows. 

"You alright, baby?" Krolia entered the living room from the kitchen, setting a bowl of tortilla chips and salsa on the coffee table and handing Keith a Mountain Dew. Her long black hair with a streak of pink was pulled back in a ponytail, her tan Mexican skin flawless as usual. Sometimes Keith would wonder what he'd look like with caramel skin like hers. Probably hot. 

"No," he grumbled, sitting up and chugging half the citrus-y soda. 

"Oh god. What did you do this time?" 

"You don't sound surprised," Keith responded, slightly offended. He didn't cause drama that often. His mom just raised her eyebrows in response. Keith huffed. "I got mad at one of Lance's party and walked out. Shiro came out and tried to calm me down, but I just yelled at him and took off. " 

_"W-What?" Shiro said, and Keith could see the confusion and heartbreak in his brown eyes. He'd screwed up, but it was too late to say never mind now. Keith's body tensed. 'Stay closed off,' he reminded himself. 'Don't get yourself hurt.' But the dejection written all over Shiro's face..._

"Keith," Krolia's voice shifted to one of sympathy that reminded Keith of when he was little and had nightmares about fires. Always fires. "How many times have I told you, you can open up to people, especially Shiro. That man cares about you so much." 

"I know, Mom." _God, do I know._

She nodded. "I know that you probably don't have feelings for him, but have you considered how he feels? I've seen him look at you, and honestly? It reminds me of your father and I-" 

"Ew, Mom, don't," Keith scrunched up his nose in disgust. He hated it when she talked sappy about his dad. It wasn't that he didn't appreciated that she loved him even after he passed, it was just so...eugh. Weird. 

"Shut it. Anyways, you'll never find another man that'll look at you that way. He has so much admiration for you, namja agi. So much." Krolia smiled softly, placing her hand on Keith's knee. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think he's in love with you." 

Keith felt his face burn, and he cursed himself internally. His feelings toward Shiro were nothing more than friendship, right? So what if he thought Shiro was kinda cute, and felt his stomach do flips when he laughed. That was totally normal for friendships. Even if Shiro had the tiniest inkling of feelings for him, he had Hanahaki for someone else. Thus, not him, and Keith was totally normal and not the slightest bit gay. Just demisexual. Not gay. 

Well, a little gay. 

"He doesn't have feelings for me, Mom. He has Hanahaki, probably not for me," Keith said, and cringed when his shoulders slumped slightly. A vain part of him hoped the Hanahaki was for him, just so he knew. And with that thought, Keith suddenly really wanted to dig a hole and die. 

His mother groaned. "God, you do not take a damn hint. He's. Gay. For. You. Keith. It's so obvious. How oblivious are you?" 

Keith nearly screeched. Not only was his mom suggesting that Shiro had feelings for him, but the points she made actually fit. And thus, Keith wanted to die again. Part of him refused to believe it. No way that a smart, sophisticated, cute guy like Shiro would fall for a messy, slightly emo rebel like him. It was too cliché, too much like one of Lance's cringey romance novels. Keith refused to think that Shiro liked him. They were just friends, and Keith made it very, very obvious. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Nothing else. 

Right? 

But what if Shiro didn't see it that way? What if the Hanahaki was for him, and Keith was killing Shiro slowly, in the world's most painful way? No, Keith didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to loose another loved one, especially someone like Shiro, and he didn't want to think that he'd killed him. A vision of a funeral decorated with forget-me-nots rose to his mind, and Keith swore he could physically feel his heart break. No, he wouldn't go to another funeral decorated with memorials and people in black. He didn't want to, couldn't. 

He really needed to ask Shiro who the Hanahaki was for. The curiosity was killing him (haha, irony). 

 

"Keith?" 

Keith realised he was crying, and he shook his head to clear it of those treasonous thoughts. "Fine, I'm fine, shut up." 

Krolia chuckled and patted Keith's knee. "I need to go let Kosmo in. You sit here and mull this over." 

"Yeah, sure," Keith replied as his mom walked away, and then rested his head against the top of the couch. If Shiro did have feelings for him, and if Keith reciprocated them...where would that go? 

Fantasies of Shiro's arms around him, lips on his, caused Keith's stomach to knot and his cheeks to burn. A lot. He shouldn't feel this way about a friend. Shouldn't. Unacceptable. Yet, the feelings were hypnotic, and they took over sometimes. Christ, why did Shiro do things to him he didn't even understand? 

_"Even I'd probably say yes if you asked me," Shiro said, as if it was the most casual thing in the world to say. Keith turned a pale red and fidgeted slightly. Him and Shiro together sounded like something out of a dream that he totally didn't have. Just the idea sounded nice, as much as Keith hated to say it, and the look in Shiro's eyes showed how much he meant it. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and Keith suddenly couldn't breathe. Magnetic. Everything about Shiro was magnetic, and Keith was just another piece of metal attracted to him. Hypnotic, almost, the look in Shiro's eyes, and Keith imagined seeing that under a cherry blossom tree, or on his couch smiling and laughing. Shiro really did make him feel like someone else sometimes._

Keith shook his head and groaned, sliding down the couch until his chin was touching his chest. He didn't have feelings for Shiro. He did not. Friends, just friends, nothing more. FRIENDS. He sat there like that until his mother came in, Kosmo on her heels. 

Kosmo was Keith's mixed Wolf/German Shepard dog, who really was a mistake puppy and the runt of the litter. A breeder from up north had moved to Texas and she bred domesticated wolves and half-breeds, and a mother dog had just given birth to a litter of Shepard wolf puppies. Keith was 14 at the time and fell in love with the little puppy playing with a toy carrot, and insisted that his father adopt it. He named it Kosmo, and they became fast friends. Keith would've take Kosmo to school with him, but the dorms didn't allow pets, so he had to leave Kosmo with Krolia. 

Kosmo let out a chuff and ran over to Keith, jumping on the couch and curling up beside him. Keith absentmindedly ran his fingers through Kosmo's thick black and grey fur. Shiro loved Kosmo the moment he'd seen the dog, and if Shiro was there he'd have been snapping photos and giving Kosmo one too many treats. 

Keith suddenly wondered if he'd done so much damage to their friendship that he wouldn't be able to hang out with Shiro any more. The look in Shiro's eyes said that something in him had broken, and a sinking feeling swirled in Keith's stomach. Fear. He was scared he'd lost Shiro, damaged their fragile glass friendship. But if they made up, then their friendship was true, maybe something more? Keith exhaled softly, mumbled that he was going outside, and left the house. Kosmo followed with a curious tilt of his head. 

"Hey buddy. I really screwed up." Keith whispered, and Kosmo nudged his thigh with another chuff. Keith smiled softly. Sometimes he wondered if Kosmo could understand him, and if he was actually responding. 

His phone vibrated (an Instagram post from Lance) and he set it down on the side of a nearby rocking chair. Kosmo nudged the Galaxy s7, and then stared at Keith with his brown eyes. Keith stared back in confusion. Was Kosmo telling Keith to...call Shiro? It was a good idea, but Keith still felt his gut twist with anxiety. What if Shiro had blocked his number? Kosmo nudged his phone again, toward Keith's hand. 

"Screw it, " Keith said, picking up his phone and dialing Shiro's number (Kosmo made an approving bark). It rang four times before Keith heard Shiro's soft, almost choked sounding, "Hello?" 

Was Shiro crying? God, Keith screwed up, and he felt so, so bad. He almost felt like crying himself, but he swallowed down the ball in his throat and made himself respond. "God, Shiro, I'm sorry. I suck as a friend. I shouldn't have blown you off like that when you were trying to help." 

"N-No, you're fine. I- You were just stressed, I'm sure." 

_Stressed over you,_ Keith thought, and he was thankful Shiro couldn't see his blush through the phone. "Yeah, but you're going through a rough patch right now, and I... I probably didn't help that. " 

Shiro inhaled like he was going to say something, but he stayed silent. They were both so quiet that Keith could hear the TV in the background, could hear Jensen Ackle's voice shouting "You fight those fairies!" Keith would've laughed if it wasn't for the circumstances. Shiro was like a fangirl over Dean and the actor that played him, Jensen Ackles, and he had two posters over his desk of Supernatural. Keith didn't understand why, but he didn't judge. Keith secretly fanboyed over Kim Namjoon, or RM, from BTS, so he couldn't say anything. 

"Keith...I...I'm sorry we had to argue like that," Shiro whispered. 

"Me too. I, um, I care about you. A lot. I just...I hate seeing you like that, I hate the fact that you have this stupid Hanahaki. I-" _Love you_ ,he almost said, but decided to rephrase it and hopefully get his point across. "I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens. Always." 

"Thank you, Keith," Shiro sounded like he was choking down tears, his voice hoarse. "That- I- That's- that means so much to me. Do you...Do...Do you want to uh, come...come over? Like, tomorrow?" 

Keith smiled and nodded before he remembered he was on the phone and Shiro couldn't see him. He coughed awkwardly. "Yeah. That sounds good. "

Shiro sighed in relief. "Alright. I uh, I gotta go. Bye." 

"Bye." 

\---------

Keith posted a video on his Instagram the next morning that he took the night before. He was playing guitar in his backyard, the full moon and stars forming a beautiful background. He was singing as well, his voice soft and deeper than usual. 

_Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars. In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me..."_

The soft guitar notes blended in harmony with his voice as it rose and lowered with the soft tune of the words. 

_"Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more. You are all I long for, all I worship and adore. In other words, please be true! In other words, I love you."_

_"Fill my heart with song, let me sing for ever more. You are all I long for, all I worship and adore. In other words, please be true! In other words, in other words, I love you. "_

Keith grinned when shirogane_takeshi was the first like.  
\---------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOAH FLUFF.  
> Also, Keith is mixed Hispanic/Korean! Krolia's full name is Krolia Rosa Hernandez-Kogane.
> 
> I found some songs I think fit this so yeah. 
> 
> I'm A Mess by Bebe Rexha for Shiro,  
> Friends (Halocene Cover) and Hypnotic by Zella Day for Keith. As for couple songs, Fool by Cave town and Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra. I like the Annapantsu cover for that!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos give me life, and bOY DO I NEED IT. I just got my braces tightened and now I have rubber bands for my overbite. Help.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Middle of the night phone calls. 
> 
> Awkward middle of the night phone calls.

To: This Jerk (sent at 3:46 AM)  
Lance, I need to talk to you

To: This Jerk (sent at 3:47 AM)  
It's about Keith

To: This Jerk (sent at 3:48 AM)  
Lance pleaaaase

Shiro groaned and tossed his phone to the end of his bed, cringing when it hit the metal border of the bed. Why wouldn't Lance respond? Normally Lance was up until four in the morning, doing whatever Lance does, so why wasn't he responding today? The one day Shiro needed him to reply with a Twitter meme and give him love advice. 

Keith's late night phone call was so sweet and yet sad, because Shiro knew how Keith was oblivious toward Shiro's feelings, and Keith's quiet whisper of "I'll be there for you, no matter what," was bittersweet. It was breathtaking to hear those words out of Keith's mouth, it was like a diamond for Shiro. A precious gem to hold close and protect, never to loose. Shiro smiled softly in the dark, the light from his glow in the dark stars on the ceiling the only illumination. Keith had bought those for his birthday, and they spent the day sticking them on the ceiling. 

 

_"You have the worlds weirdest birthday, Shiro. Seriously? A leap year?" Keith chuckled to himself, and Shiro could faintly make out his face in the darkness. The corners of Keith's lips were turned up into a small smile, showing just how smooth and slightly puffy his lips were. When Keith turned his head to face Shiro, Shiro suddenly was at a loss for words. Keith's almond shaped eyes were shimmering in the artificial light, the amethyst color almost glowing like a cat's. However, as beautiful as they were, Shiro found himself staring at Keith's lips, a strange warmth blossoming in his chest and moving to his face. All of the sudden, Shiro longed to press his lips to Keith's, to wrap the skinny Korean in his arms and never let go._

_Shiro?" Keith whispered, pursing those lips. "Are you okay?"_

_" I-Yeah, I'm... I'm fine!" Shiro had to drag his eyes away from Keith's lips, and the warm feeling disappeared. Keith seemed to notice the blush painting Shiro's cheek, and he laughed._

That was the moment Shiro realized he was in love with Park Kyungjae. 

Something Shiro found interesting about Keith was how much he hated his full Korean name. Shiro liked it, but he discovered that Keith absolutely hated it when he used Kyungjae or Park to refer to Keith. 

_"It's such a mouthful. Who wants to call someone Park Kyungjae? Who even wants to say Kyungjae? Keith sounds so much better, " Keith said, before downing half a bottle of Mountain Dew._

_Shiro chuckled. "I do. It sounds nice, like you're a K-Pop star or something."_

_Keith snorted and laughed his light, bubbly laugh. Shiro felt his stomach do flips upon hearing his laugh, and his face flushed. "That's both a compliment and the gayest thing I've ever heard."_

_"It's fitting," Shiro replied before he realized what he'd said. Keith didn't know he was gay, and it wasn't something Shiro liked to flaunt about. Shiro didn't even have a shirt that had a pride flag on it. The only rainbow thing he owned was a "Love is love" pin, that he kept on his black backpack. His eyes widened, and Shiro suddenly wanted to crawl into a hole and never leave._

_"What?" Keith said, giving Shiro a quizzical look._

_Too late to turn back now. "I, um, I'm gay," Shiro whispered, fidgeting with his hands. Keith inhaled sharply, and Shiro expected some kind of homophobic reply. Instead, Keith laughed. Actually laughed. Shiro felt his heart pound against his rib cage, and he stared at Keith in bewilderment._

_"That was supposed to be a secret? Jesus, Shiro, I've seen you staring at guy's butts. If that isn't gay, I don't know what is."_

_Shiro stammered, blinking rapidly. He really had no comeback for that because it was true, so he just sat there, gaping and stuttering. Keith laughed even more, to the point where he was wheezing. "Oh, my god, Shiro, I'm not as oblivious as I act. I notice things, especially about you. I notice, hyeong."_

_"I thought hyeong was little brother," Shiro said, desperately trying to change the subject. Keith raised his eyebrows._

_"Are you correcting the Korean on his Korean? Really? It's just a spelling difference. Hyung and Hyeong mean big brother. Namdongsaeng is little brother. Dongsaeng is a gender neutral term."_

_"Can I call you namdongsaeng?"_

_"No, off limits. No."_

Shiro smiled softly at the memory. Oddly enough, he liked listening to Keith speaking other languages, like Korean. His voice was softer, a little more relaxed in Korean, mostly because it was the main language he'd spoken with his father, whom Shiro had never met. Keith didn't talk about his father, Park-Hanuel Jinyoon, very often, if ever at all. Shiro could only remember one time where he even heard Keith mention his father, and if was a small, quiet, "He was a firefighter." 

Shiro was shaken out of his thoughts when his phone rang, and he had to get up and grab it. Keith's picture showed up, a photo Shiro had snapped when Keith was staring out a window in Astrophysics. Shiro felt his heart jump in his chest, and he rushed to put in his earbuds and answer. "Keith? What's up?" 

"Nothing, hyeong, I just can't sleep," Keith whispered through the phone, and his voice was slightly deeper than normal, something Shiro came to associate with a sleepy Keith. 

"Me neither. Wanna FaceTime?" 

Keith yawned. "My hair is chaotic, but sure." 

Shiro chuckled imagining Keith with his long hair in a little poofy ponytail, with little bits of hair escaping the hair tie. It actually sounded adorable, and he smiled to himself in the dark. Sleepy Keith was slightly nicer than normal, mildly awake Keith, and definitely cuter. There were moments where Keith would yawn, and it came out like a kitten's yawn. Shiro found it incredibly cute, and he'd tease the hell out of Keith about it. 

Keith hung up, and moments later called Shiro in FaceTime. Shiro accepted, and the first thing he saw was Keith in his BTS hoodie, the hood pulled up over his head. It was dark in the room, and it looked like the only illumination came from Keith's phone. His eyes, yet again, were shining like a cat's. Shiro could also hear the soft notes of "Singularity" playing as well, and he raised an eyebrow. 

"Koreaboo," Shiro said, chuckling. 

"Shut up. At least it's not your stupid J-Pop shit," Keith shot back, pointing at the screen. 

Shiro gasped. Keith did not just insult his music taste. "Ass! My music is great. " 

"Whatever. What do you want to talk about? Make it something boring, I need sleep." 

"Well," Shiro racked his brain for something to talk about that wasn't 'you look hot with messy hair'. Seriously, from what Shiro could see of Keith's bangs, it looked like he had sex hair. Shiro kinda wished that he'd caused the look, but he cursed himself when he felt another coughing fit coming on. "Do you remember when we first met?" 

Keith yawned again, his pointy canines shining in the phone light. "Of course I do, hyeong. You were the annoying sophomore that wouldn't stop pissing off a freshman." The song changed to "The Truth Untold", and Keith started nodding his head along with the slow, melancholy beat. Shiro liked the song mostly for the piano, but the lyrics were nice too, so he didn't judge Keith's liking of the song. 

Shiro groaned. "You looked interesting. I mean, honestly, if I was sitting under a tree humming along to my 'shitty' J-Pop would you come over and say hi?" 

"I would tell you to screw off and smack you."

"You did do that." 

"Oh right, I did do that! Hah!" Keith smirked, the left corner of his mouth turning upwards. Shiro found himself staring at Keith's pink lips again, his face burning. He really needed to stop doing that, but he couldn't help himself. Keith always looked good, even when he was upset, and Keith used his lips as one of the main ways he expressed his emotions. Pursed lips? Confusion. If Keith was biting his lips, he was embarrassed and trying not to say something that could make it worse. If he poked his tongue out like a cat's, he was focused. Right now, Keith was gnawing his bottom lip, and Shiro wondered what Keith was embarrassed about. Had he noticed Shiro staring at his lips? 

The pressure in his chest grew slightly worse, and Shiro had to duck away from the screen to cough up several blue petals and a single bloom. He groaned. 

"Shiro? Are you alright?!" 

"I'm fine, just a little coughing." 

"You just coughed for five minutes straight. Did you take your pills today, hyeong?" A quiet tapping noise came from Keith's end, and Shiro assumed he was on looking stuff up online. What, Shiro had no clue, but he suspected something Hanahaki related. 

"I appreciate your concern, and yes, I took my pills." 

"Good. Do that. I don't want you to end up in the hospital."

"Duh," Shiro replied, tapping his nails on the metal part of his bed. Despite how nonchalant he acted, Shiro could feel the pleasant warmness spreading in his chest, a cherry blossom of affection blooming. He loved that Keith cared, that Keith promised he'd be there for Shiro. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the way Shiro wanted, and he was dreading the day he would wake up in a hospital to see a concerned Keith and feel nothing. Shiro sighed softly, and Keith raised his eyebrows. 

"Is something wrong, hyeong?" 

"No," Shiro blatantly lied through his teeth. "Just tired." 

"Ah, makes sense. I'm about to pass out. " 

"Oh. Well, _oyasumi,_ Keith." 

Keith yawned and smiled softly, eyes glittering like stars. _"Annyeonghi jumuseyo."_

Shiro hung up and tossed his phone again, smiling to himself in the darkness. Tomorrow would be a good day, and the fluttery feeling of excitement in his stomach seemed to confirm that. He almost felt like something...romantic (for lack of better word) would happen with Keith, but he wasn't sure what. _"Dai suki da yo,"_ Shiro whispered, trying the phrase like a piece of candy. " _Dai suki da yo._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went a little more into Keith's Korean heritage in this chapter, so I hope I was mildly accurate with the sibling terms. I like researching Asian cultures, so I didn't mind. 
> 
> I suck at italics on here because I hate the formatting. Ew.
> 
> Also I made Keith like BTS because I like BTS. Yeet. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are like my coffee.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen to "Sick of Losing Soulmates" by Dodie while reading this chapter. That is all.

Soft sunlight filtered through the thin shades, casting everything into a pale yellow glow. One of these things was Keith's face, and he groaned as he rolled over, away from the window. He buried his face into the warm, barely firm pillow, the world slowly going from fuzzy to as clear as it would get with Keith's slowly failing vision. He had glasses, but he hated wearing them outside the house because they made him look like a nerd. In his opinion anyways. 

After another ten minutes of Keith's groaning and failed attempts to sleep more, his phone alarm went off, the "k-pop-k-k-pop" sound from 134340 playing. He sat up and swiped the off button on his alarm. He blinked, glancing around the room. His eyes finally settled on the wall of photos on the left wall of his room, opposite his bed. Photographs of him and Kosmo roughhousing in the grass, of Mom's bad selfies, and the photograph of his father in his navy blue firefighter uniform, smiling softly. Keith tore his gaze away from that photo before he upset himself, and his eyes drifted to the picture of Shiro and him in a park. That was before Shiro dyed his hair white, but his prosthetic and looks were about the same. Keith had gotten taller since the picture was taken, and his hair was longer now. They were standing on a bridge over a small creek, Shiro with his arm around Keith's shoulders. Keith was pink from laughter induced by Shiro tickling that ticklish spot by his collarbone to get Keith to smile. The photo was dated March 28, 2016. That day, Keith hadn't been sociable in the slightest. Why?

March 28th was the day his father passed away. 

 

_"Keith, are you alright?"_

_"What? Sure, totally," Keith replied, caught slightly off guard by the question. As perceptive as Shiro was, he wasn't very good at figuring out what was wrong when Keith was upset. Keith was just that good at hiding his emotions. He crossed his arms, staring at the worn dirt path they were walking on. He could still remember watching his dad, giggling and quite literally walking in his father's footprints. He'd long ago stopped doing that, but when Keith walked this trail he still wished for his father, longed to jump in his footprints again._

_Shiro pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, staring at Keith with a perplexed expression. Keith met his honeyed brown eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. "What?"_

_"You're depressed," Shiro said suddenly. Keith's eyes widened. "Not in a medical way, but emotional. Something's on your mind. "_

_'Don't give a lot away,' A little voice in Keith's head whispered. 'He still might turn on you.' "I told you, I'm fine," he snapped._

_Shiro raised his eyebrows in disbelief and sidestepped closer to Keith. Keith, suddenly self conscious, shifted away from him. Shiro frowned. "Keith, come on, tell me."_

_Keith mumbled a swear. Shiro just couldn't take 'I'm fine' for an answer? He really didn't feel like talking about his father, especially today. He'd rather lay on a nail then deal with this, and Keith internally groaned. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Shiro's concern, because he did, but Keith didn't want to burst into tears in front of someone as well-composed as Shiro. He'd worked hard on making his stony shell, and breaking it down for one person, in his mind, wouldn't end well. His father would want him to tell what was bugging him, but Keith's dad would never hold his hand and tell him it was alright ever again. Keith felt his throat close up and his eyes burn, and he bit his lip._

_Shiro noticed Keith's rising flood of tears and suddenly, Keith felt strong arms around his thin frame. Keith didn't know what to do with his arms, and his heart was pounding against his ribs._

_"Kyungjae, you don't need to hide your feelings from me. I care. If you're facing a dark hall, I'll grab my light and go with you. I promise," Shiro whispered, and Keith flushed when he could feel Shiro's breath tingle on his ear. Keith felt the floodgates break, and he burst into sobs._

_Shiro cared. He cared about Keith. That was all Keith needed to hear right now, and he wrapped his arms around Shiro's torso and sobbed into his shoulder. He could feel Shiro shift so his face was in Keith's shoulder, his head tilted slightly to the side. They sat there for several minutes, Keith's sobbing the only sound drifting in the wind. When Shiro finally spoke, Keith could feel his warm breath on his neck._

_"What's wrong, Kyungjae, what's hurting you so much?"_

_Shiro let go of the embrace, grabbing Keith's left hand instead and squeezing it softly. He led Keith over to a dry log and they sat down, Keith spilling out the whole story about his father's death. It wasn't much beyond "He was a firefighter and he died saving someone," but Keith still felt like he was spilling some intimate tea. Shiro nodded as Keith explained, silent aside from an occasional mm-hm. Keith was beginning to get nervous, clenching and unclenching his fists, leaving nail marks into his palms. Finally, Shiro spoke._

_"I feel bad because I can't really emphasize, but I promise you, I'll try and help any way I can. I'm not leaving you to bottle up your feelings until they exploded. Stay with me and chat whenever you're breaking down, I'll help." He paused, running his thumb in circles on the back of Keith's hand. Keith felt his cheeks burn, and he averted his gaze to a small patch of poison ivy. "I'm here, Kyungjae."_

_"Thank you, Shiro," he whispered. He smiled softly through the tears still streaming down his face. "Thank you, Takeshi. I-I- thank you so much-I..."_

_"Shush, don't thank me. I know you'd do the same for me," Shiro interrupted, smiling softly, the scar across the bridge of his nose distorting just a little bit. "Now come on, there's a cute little bridge I want to show you."_

Keith smiled softly at the memory, tugging on a soft light brown suede jacket, which covered the blue flannel button up and white tee shirt. He knew Shiro meant what he'd said, and Keith was beginning to wonder if Shiro had been showing his affections all along. What if Shiro really had been in love with Keith for years, and Keith was just developing feelings now? Damn, he was oblivious. 

He tossed his backpack on over his shoulder, shoved his glasses in a jacket pocket, hugged Kosmo goodbye and left his mother's home. Her black Ford Fiesta was already gone, meaning she'd already left to teach her Taekwondo classes. Keith felt a fluttery feeling he identified as excitement bloom in his stomach as he hopped on his Harley and tugged on his helmet. He had a good feeling about today, but there was always the little voice shouting, "something's going to go wrong!" 

He sped off, driving the ten minutes from Bryan to A&M. Once he arrived outside his dorms, he took off his helmet and put on his glasses. The flutters returned when he walked past Shiro's dorm to get to his, and Keith speed-walked to his dorm. He frustrated himself, fumbling with his keycard to open the door, and once he got the door open, he chucked his heavy backpack on his bed and collapsed face down beside it. 

_'Something's going to go wrong,'_ the little voice of distrust whispered. _'You'll say too much. Don't go. It'll only end horribly.'_ The little voice that would never go away, that always persisted. He fought a never ending war against it, but today, he'd win. He'd win, he'd tie a noose around his mind (loose enough to breath fine) and tie it to a tree, shout 'You belong to me! This ain't a noose, it's a leash and I have news for you, you must obey me!' Not today, anxious distrust. 

Not. Freaking. Today. 

Keith stood and checked his looks in the bathroom mirror. Wisps of ebony black hair came out of his ponytail, and Keith just pulled it out of the holder and brushed his hair. His glasses looked slightly awkward on his thin face, but they worked with the outfit. Necessary sacrifices. He fidgeted with the top hem of his blue skinny jeans for a moment, debating. He could flake out and just study, say "Sorry, I can't," but he didn't want to listen to the demon voices. 

Screw it. He left the dorm, slamming the door shut. It took all of Keith's willpower not to go running to Shiro's door, but he did his best to speed walk casually. After a quick knock and a hurricane of butterflies in his stomach, Shiro opened the door. His white, undercut hair was swept to the left and slightly disheveled, adding to the nerdy-but-sexy look Shiro was rocking that day. He wore a black sweatervest over a long sleeve white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and Shiro topped off the outfit with a comfy looking pair of light blue jeans. Shiro had his prosthetic hand shoved into a jean pocket, and he was leaning against the door. 

Keith turned red against his will, and Shiro's cheeks were slightly dusted pink. Christ. Keith hadn't meant to be this awkward. They sat there for a moment, staring at each other, before Shiro finally broke the silence like glass. "You look...really comfy." 

"I am. Hot you look-" (Shiro raised his eyebrows.) Keith cleared his throat awkwardly. "I meant to say you look hot. No homo though." 

"Keith, I am all the homo. Now come on, I made lattes." 

"Really? Lattes? You freaking nerd." Keith plopped himself down on one of Shiro's extra comfy beanbags, internally screaming at himself. Hot you look? Really? Keith huffed quietly. 

"Oh, bite me, I like a homemade chai latte in the morning. It's not a sin," Shiro called before emerging from the kitchen and setting down two lattes in little cafe style setups on the low coffee table. He then sat down himself and turned to Keith. 

They locked eyes for a moment before Keith flitted his gaze away and ran his finger along the rim of his cup. Why was this so awkward? What had changed, besides Keith epiphany of 'Oh I'm in love with Shiro'? Virtually nothing, but yet, he just couldn't seem to get the words he wanted out of his mouth. 

Thick, heavy like honey. That's what words had become.

"You know, it's weird. When I first met you, I thought our friendship wouldn't ever happen. " Shiro said suddenly, taking a sip of his latte. "And yet, here we are. Here we are." He chuckled. "Sometimes I feel like we could live forever when we just sit and talk." 

Keith nearly dropped his latte, but set it down and clasped his hands together in his lap to stop them from shaking. "Wh-Huh?" 

Shiro shook his head, the corners of his mouth upturned softly in a bittersweet smile. Keith noticed the pale blush dancing along Shiro's cheekbones. "Nothing, just being sentimental. Not a big deal. I'll shut up now." 

"Wait! No, I was just confused. I feel the exact same way. When I met you, I just thought you'd be like Lance. I'm glad you proved me wrong." 

Shiro laughed his deep, rumbling laugh, and Keith had to stare at the floor to hide his blush. God, what was this fluttery feeling in his stomach?

"It's actually pretty easy, being nice to a bitter boy like you. I don't regret a single bit of our friendship, and I wish it could last longer." Shiro sighed, brushing his snowy white locks out of his eyes. His honeyed brown eyes were shimmering, and Keith could see the thin line of tears forming. Hell, Keith's own vision was blurring, and he had to take off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "I wish we could last longer, I could last longer." 

"What are you saying? You're not dying, Shiro." Keith cringed at the shakiness in his voice. Shiro just closed his eyes and smiled a pain filled smile. 

Keith was terrified, terrified that Shiro would say the worst. Say that he was going to die, going to leave, and the fact that deep down, Keith knew it was true, hurt like hell. Visions of a pale Shiro in the hospital, taking his dying breath, lungs choked with flowers, danced in Keith's mind, accompanied by mahogany coffins and black roses. He wasn't going to loose Shiro, he couldn't loose Shiro, he couldn't loose another loved one, _"Goddamn it!"_ The tears streak down his cheeks, and he was practically screaming. "God fucking damn it Shiro, I'm not going to loose you! Your ass is going to stay right here, with me! I'm not going to let you waste your last months in a depression!" 

"Kyungjae, I...." Shiro's eyes widened when Keith stood in front of Shiro, fists balled at his sides as he cried. He lifted his hand, like he was going to reach out and grab Keith's hand, but he pulled his hand away and looked down. 

"Don't even try to apologize! It's hard enough for me to speak right now without hearing your apologies!" Keith was sobbing now, a cascade of salty tears streaking down his face as he yelled. He would show Shiro that he wasn't dying, that Shiro'd be okay, despite the fact the Keith knew he wouldn't. Just for a little while, he'd love to live in a quiet bubble of a happy illusion. No death, no Hanahaki, no worries. Just peacefulness. _"I haven't loved you this much just to loose you! God damn it, don't do this to me!"_

Keith collapsed to his knees, watching the visions dance in his mind. A horrible, twisted montage of friendship and love and flowers and blood and hospital beds. Sterile, white hospital beds tainted only by the bloody petals. He made a choked noise in the back of his throat. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see through the tears, and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the world anymore, see Shiro's pained face. It wasn't until he felt a warm hand brushing tears away from his cheeks that he opened his eyes and saw Shiro, eyes and cheeks glistening, in front of him, close enough that Keith could run his fingers along Shiro's lips by barely moving a hand. "I love you, Shiro," Keith whispered. I can't accept loosing you, and it hurts that I will." 

"I know, " Shiro murmured, pressing his forehead to Keith's. He closed his eyes, and Keith stared at the wet, dark lashes fanning across Shiro's flushed cheeks. "God, do I know, and I-I'm...I'm sorry. I live you so much, and I hate seeing you torn up over me." 

"If it wasn't for you, my life would be a lot different." Keith softly, lightly, ran his pointer finger along Shiro's bottom lip, and Shiro opened his eyes just a little to stare at Keith with those mesmerizing eyes. "I don't know where I'll be without you. Please, please, don't go. I'm sick of losing soulmates. I won't be alone again...I can't. " 

Keith didn't know how, but suddenly he noticed that Shiro's lips were so close to his that he could feel Shiro's reply on his lips as if he'd said it himself. "I'm not going to leave you, Keith, even when I'm gone. I'm never going to leave you. I promise. It's you, Parl Kyungjae, and always has been. I love you." 

"I know," Keith whispered, almost inaudibly, before their lips connected. It was kind of awkward at first, like a high school first kiss, trying to figure out who's on what side. It only took a brief moment before they figured it out, and Keith held Shiro's prosthetic arm hand like a lifeline, their lips moving in a quiet, almost fairy tale unison. Shiro was cupping Keith's cheeks with his human hand, wiping away the tears. 

Keith didn't know how long they sat there, on their knees, softly kissing, but he knew that he'd long since stopped crying and the only feeling in his chest was the fluttering of his heart. 

"I don't want the world to see us. I don't want to miss you. I don't...stay," Keith whispered against Shiro's lips, opening his eyes slightly to stare at Shiro. They pulled away for a moment, and Keith could feel his body tingle when Shiro looked him up and down, as if making sure this was real. "I don't think the world understands. " 

"No, " Shiro replied, his eyes flitting down to their hands, where he was running his thumb in circles around the back of Keith's hand. "No, they wouldn't. I love you more than the number of stars in the universe."

"I love you too, I love you so much." Keith barely had enough time to choke that out before their lips collided again. 

Yeah, they were fucked up, but Keith knew, he just knew, they'd be okay, and judging by the look in Shiro's eyes when they stopped to breathe, that Shiro knew too. 

Love would royally kick you in the ass, but it also made you a better person. People are better together. Always have been, always will be. Even if it takes coughing up a half million flowers to find each other, the silver lilies at the end don't mean the end of something horrible. They signified the beginning of something beautiful, the beginning of a love so powerful the universe couldn't break them apart. 

The Hanahaki ending wasn't the end of an era. It was the start of something lovely. 

 

_\------fin------_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurt from this. 
> 
> Do you guys want me to write an epilogue, maybe a year or two later? 
> 
> Thank you for reading my trash, and as always, comments and kudos give me life!

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Lance and Pidge will be featured more in the next chapter, as with Hunk!!! I didn't want to put them as referenced when they'll be there later. 
> 
> Kudos and comments give me sanity. I also have legit no clue about who to ship Matt and Hunk with, and Pidge is going to be a single Pringle by choice. Send me help please.


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